Life's journey is rarely linear or predictable, especially when you are constantly on the edge of understanding and belonging, as I have been. From the earliest days of my childhood, marked by my parents' divorce when I was just five years old, to the numerous moves and school changes fueled by my parents' endless search for love, I learned what it means to live in constant flux. In those early years, without the digital connectivity of our time, I was unable to build lasting childhood friendships, constantly isolated by circumstance and the absence of my parents, who were mostly preoccupied with themselves and their own problems.

My mother's early death from cancer in middle age exacerbated the already difficult family dynamic and made financial independence a necessity to escape the oppressive environment. A degree and subsequent career, the path most of my current friends have taken, were unattainable dreams under these conditions. Instead, I started a banking apprenticeship and so work became my escape and my shackle - a double-edged sword that promised freedom on the one hand, but also forged new chains on the other.

The effects of these experiences on my social development and my self-image were profound. Social anxiety and pronounced introversion became my constant companions, undermining my self-confidence and causing me to withdraw further and further. With every new challenge and every failed attempt to connect, the question became louder: were these aspects of my nature inextricably linked to the experiences of my childhood and upbringing? It seemed as if the shadows of my past continued to haunt me, reminding me how far I was from the life I wanted.

One depressive phase after another followed. During this time in my life, when everything seemed particularly gray and uncertain, I discovered the world of the internet and social platforms like Myspace and Tumblr. These digital windows opened at a time when I felt lost, surrounded by the silence of my own inner chaos. It was a rainy afternoon when, for the first time, I really began to delve into the depths of this new world, navigating profiles and blogs maintained by other people from all over the world. These virtual encounters became a turning point in my life.

Each click took me further away from my loneliness and showed me that there was a whole universe out there full of life, color and possibility. I discovered people sharing their stories, revealing their struggles, dreams and successes. It was like looking through a kaleidoscope of lives, each picture more instructive than the last. This experience was like a gentle anchor that pulled me back to reality and showed me that life has far more to offer than I could have previously imagined.

However, over the years since my childhood, the development of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), a physical manifestation of my inner turmoil and depression, continued to limit my daily life and real-life interactions. The fear of rejection and uncomfortable situations meant that I missed out on many opportunities and fell further into a vicious cycle of anxiety and depression. It was as if my own body had turned against me, another obstacle to overcome on the road to a fulfilling life.

In the midst of these challenges, a deep longing for change and freedom crystallized - an environment where I didn't have to hide my personality or physical ailments. Inspired by the stories of people I came across through social media and those around me who were living a self-determined life, I began to dream of a different life. I also had the liberating experience of taking a necessary career break and filling my days with only the things that were important to me. Far away from external obligations and social constraints. An incredible feeling of freedom. This longing guides me and reminds me that it is never too late to take the wheel and set a new course.

I'm now at a point where I'm thinking about the possibilities of creating valuable content myself or further developing my skills as an investor in the cryptocurrency space, despite the fear that it might be too late to enter a world already filled with influencers and content creators. My goal is to turn my passion into a career and write about the topics that move me, hoping to inspire constructive discussion and change. These reflections are a first step towards overcoming my fears and proof of the power of self-confidence and pursuing one's dreams.

The road ahead is uncertain, but the lessons of my past have given me a deep appreciation for stability and security, qualities that will serve me well on my future journey. My vision for the future is a free and self-determined life that is financially secure yet still meets my desire for a certain standard of living. There is still so much to discover and experience. This vision drives me to keep going, even if the path is rocky and uncertain.

At the moment, I'm focusing on finding my way in the world of content creation. Despite the challenge of gaining a foothold in a digital ecosystem that is often perceived as oversaturated, I am determined to establish my own brand. My goal is to create content that not only informs, but also inspires - be it through insights into current world affairs, in-depth looks at finance or innovative perspectives on cryptocurrencies. I strive to create a brand that emphasizes authenticity and personal relevance in order to create real value for my audience.

I am only at the beginning of this exciting yet challenging journey and am looking for a community of like-minded individuals who are also walking the path of self-discovery and entrepreneurial spirit. In this circle of support, I hope to find the strength to accept my vulnerability and learn how to stay true to my own truth and grow personally in the process.

As I look to the future, I feel a mixture of excitement, fear and most of all a deep determination. Even though this journey has only just begun, it has already laid the foundation for a life that is truly my own. I hope that my experiences and thoughts can encourage others to find the courage to embrace their own authenticity and pursue their dreams, regardless of the seeming impossibilities.

What I listened to today:

What I liked today:

That’s it for today! ☺️